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Hello!! It’s been too long since I’ve written so I’m sorry for skimming…

When I last wrote, I told you all about the old man I mistakenly dated. Ha!

So I did end up going out with Nick again. We had plans to go out somewhere in his neck of the woods where he had just moved into his new apartment. I dressed in my finest hooker attire ready to hit some hot club with my young buck. I showed up at his apartment and could smell the overwhelming stench of too much cologne and I heard techno pumping from within the apartment. He had a studio with all black furniture and black and red décor. There were also animal print accents strewn about the room, including one of those animal skin rugs that are shaped like an actual skinned animal. It was a silly night… we drank too much and never made it out and I did the most shameful of all walk of shames ever. I also was just walking into the train station as a train pulled up and I RAN to catch it just before the doors closed. I accidentally got on the wrong train but because the first few stops are the same I didn’t notice and started playing Mah Jong on my phone and didn’t notice that I wasn’t going the right way until I was at Regan National Airport. I got off and had to wait 20 minutes in my hooker gear and smeared makeup for my train to come and it ended up, start to finish, taking me like 2 hours to get home.

After that I decided that Nick wasn’t really my style with his silly taste in music and décor.

I actually had had a date earlier in that week with a guy who had originally gotten in touch with me a while back and not really had too much email conversation with. He just kind of emailed me and asked me if I’d like to be shown around a bit. I couldn’t tell what he looked like from his one black and white, side profile shot of him laughing. In sunglasses. Not to mention his ethnicity said African decent/ other. But he seemed ok and I hadn’t been able to judge the ones I had seen so far anyway so I was just like yea whatever. He said he was traveling for business but we could meet up next week. I kind of blew him off after that cause I was still spinning from Jon’s odd behavior. It started to become so exhausting!!

But Tuesday before that date with Nick I finally went out with him and we met at a sushi restaurant in Georgetown. It started off ok and then it got really great! I made sure that he was being honest about a few things (cough cough) and he was just totally genuine and nice and normal and he was the first guy that I went out with that I felt like I could actually see as my boyfriend. We left it with good feeling to the point where I really didn’t even want to see Nick that Friday. So on Sunday I met up with Katy for a little brunch and moseying around Eastern Market. Since my date with Chris we had actually texted or something every day and we decided to meet up when Katy went to catch her flight. Steve met up too. That was fun!!

So I called Chris when they left to see what the deal was with meeting up and he told me he was at a friend’s house in Bethesda, MD watching football and he invited me over. It was a little silly feeling to go see this family with three kids and their little friends and other relatives and neighbors there. But it was great and we made plans to hang again. We went out again on the following Tuesday. He came to McLean this time and I met him at the Ritz bar/lounge and we had drinks and dinner. We verbally established that we were interested in each other had our first kiss at the end of the night. I was really relieved, after having been on about 8 dates with other men leading up to him, to find someone that I was actually interested in and seemed to be interested in me. On our first date he did tell me that I was the first one that I had met off of the website. Oh and when his friends in Bethesda asked us how we met, I was surprised that they didn’t know prior to my arrival, opened my mouth and paused before Chris said that we met at a bar. It was also a surprise to the husband, Joel, who asked us second and later that his wife Liz had, that we had only met once before my joining them. Also, their daughter asked who I was and Liz said “this is Chris’s friend” to which she replied “you’re always bringing friends over!” Awkward.

So anyway, the night after our Ritz-y date, I closed at work and then drove to Georgetown to his favorite restaurant, Black Salt, to meet him. When I went in he was talking to another patron and I joined them and mostly listened to them talk finances (Chris is a CFO ching ching) before we talked about stuff that didn’t sound like French to me. After that I followed Chris back to his house (not before he backed his Mazerati into a telephone pole) and went inside for some wine. We talked a little and reestablished that we are into each other and ended up making out in his bedroom for a little but I was determined to get out of there. So now that was 4 dates in one week.

A week later I guess, on a Monday I had a day off and we decided to meet for lunch at Black Salt before I went downtown for a little artsy fulfillment and I drove to his house and parked so I could take the bus downtown. I went back later and we went to his friend’s townhouse. We had to take my car since his Mazerati was being fixed and on the way there, can I just mention, I needed to stop for gas and the man got out of the car and he pumped my gas. Seriously, what a gentleman!

That was the last time I saw him, like a week ago, but we’re still talking. He actually invited me to Orlando with him on a business trip but that fell through. He’s been a little flaky lately so I don’t know what’s going on but if this fails to work out I’m gonna take a break for a while while I find a new job. I was supposed to have an interview today but they ended up making another offer to someone else and cancelling my interview. I’ma keep on trying though because I’m sick of my schedule. It’s just such a pain and is crippling my social life.

Please comment or sent me an email or call me so I know what you’re up to J

Finally!

So I wrote these posts when they happened but I finally loaded them up. I'll try to keep up to date although I'm afraid that the fact that I was lied to like that made me not so excited about match for the moment.

I did go out with Nick on Friday and it was fantastic. He's such a great person and I definitely want to get to know him better. I love what he has to say about things when we talk. He's interesting and a true gentleman. We got waste faced when we went out so that made things a little wonky and I'll explain about that later. Right now I just wanted to get those ones up so that I could be up to date.

Susan and Paula came down this weekend and we're just hanging out with all of the chitlins. I'll tell you about my date with Nick when I feel like it and I have a minute and hopefully I'll have something more to tell you about something else fun too. :)

love!!

Hello Friends!!

So let me tell you a story. Another fun and fabulous date courtesy of Match.com.

Jonathan was one of the first guys to get in touch with me on Match when I joined about a month ago. I set my date range at 26-35 and Jon is 40, so although I didn’t think I was interested, he had sent me a nice email and had a great profile, and according to Cosmopolitan Magazine’s formula (your age, minus seven multiplied by two) I could go as high as 40 and it would be decent and socially acceptable. I have consulted this formula for years, whether or not I have abided by it, because the older you get, the wider the gap becomes, and it makes sense to me.

I emailed Jon and told him that I liked his profile too, blah blah blah and he emailed me back that he was surprised to hear from me and thanks for “hopping to it” or something like that. I thought he was accusing me of being desperate so I never wrote back. Eff off, old guy! You should BE so lucky!! A week or so later he emailed me again; afraid he had scared me off. I went ahead and entered into an email relationship with him over the next few weeks where he danced around the idea of asking me out. I eventually asked him why he hadn’t, and from there we made a phone date for Friday, the day before we met up for a winery visit. On the phone, he offered that I wouldn’t hurt his feelings either way, but we could either meet at the vineyard, or meet at his country club and drive to the vineyard in his convertible. I laughed. I would much prefer his convertible.

It ended up raining but we decided still to go. He sent me directions to his country club and I pulled up to a gate. Yikes. I pulled up to the visitor’s side and told the man that I was meeting someone here, a member. Feeling like a total moron, I admitted that I didn’t know Jon’s last name, only that I had listened to it on his voicemail once and it started with an H. The address that Jon had given me was to the Country Club, somewhere deep in the gated community. Thankfully, I was on the list and allowed to pass after he checked my license. I drove for what seemed like 10 minutes through a gorgeous community on a street lined with a golf course and water fountains. I parked at the country club and saw the tennis court where Jon plays. He came and picked me up in an SUV and I was pleasantly surprised that he seemed relatively young and he was handsome. The first thing he said to me was “God you’re so beautiful! Look at this hair!” and he casually touched it while my back was to him closing my door. Something like that either feels nice or completely grosses you out. It was actually nice. We drove to three wineries and at the last one I was officially drunk as drunk. We talked about things I don’t talk about on first dates and despite that, we carried on quite well. I adored him.

We left the third vineyard and we went back to the country club where we grabbed my car and drove it a half-block away to his townhouse. I thought he just a member, I didn’t know he lived here! His home was beautiful and clean and we played board games and I swilled water. Then he showed me a pack of cigarettes and it was all downhill.

My friends know how I am about smoking. I can’t date a smoker. It is beyond disgusting to me. One of the good things about online dating is you can specify things like how much is acceptable smoking to you. His profile, and mine, both say “no way.” Now, Jon tells me he only smokes when he drinks. Smokers think that this isn’t considered smoking. Non-smokers consider this smoking. And, if that’s when he smokes, so we can’t drink together? It was an enormous buzz-kill. I was totally blind-sided that this guy who I thought that smoking was a complete non-issue with suddenly after a month of emailing and a day of charming me to death was suddenly blowing at me pretty much the one and only deal breaker I have.

We finished playing Rummy and he invited me to come sit on his lap. I did, and we kissed and talked a little bit and it was a lot of fun, but the persistent smell of the smoke that was still slowly seeping out of his lungs, the smell you can’t cover up with mints and other smelly things, the smell that in the end of my relationship with Ryan when he had given up trying to quit made it nauseating to sleep next to him, was still there, and it was revolting. I told him that it was a turn-off and a game changer. He practically threw me off his lap. I grabbed my coat and bolted. I then got lost in the gated community whose only exit I could find was chained and locked for about 15 minutes and had to call him, which was humiliating.

I got home and texted him that I had made it safely. He texted me that he was sorry about the way that things had ended. I emailed him the next day and told him that I was sorry too, that I adored him and wished that he had been up front about the smoking. He emailed me back that he was going to quit, not for me but for him, and that he’s sure that I’ve heard that before but he is a goal-getter and he will get there. He also said, which we have talked about before, that our relationship would ultimately come to a halt if it did get off the ground because he wants to marry an Episcopalian and doesn’t imagine that I’ll convert. I’ve never been stonewalled because of religion before. I can’t relate, but of course I respect that. I have never been religious and it’s a total non-issue for me. But, it made me think. My mom converted to marry my dad, and both of my sisters married non-Jews. Different stokes for different folks I guess. That’s not a promise that I can make so someone on a first date, that if it gets serious, I’ll consider converting. It’s more of a bridge that you need to cross when you get there.

I told Jon that I would miss him if we stopped talking and I’d like him to keep in touch. I will probably never talk to him again.

It had me all bent out of shape today, that he was the one who had lied about smoking but he can fix that and I have to full on convert to please him. But then someone else texted me and completely lifted my spirits! Nick, who I had gone on the credit card fiasco date with earlier in the week, chatted with me for a few before asking me to hang out again. Now, Nick is 25, Jewish and wants to marry a Jew, (take that, Jon!) successful and ADORABLE!! He’s actually Israeli, moved here when he was 13, has super-creamy tan skin and half a body-fat percentage and likes to tell stories about the history of this or that. He’s so stinking cute!!He suggested that we go to the D.C. improve whatever house for a comedy show. Doesn’t that sound like fun?! I’m so excited. I just want to make out with him all over the place.

The Embarrassment, the Danger, and the Stress

The Set Up:

My credit card was apparently compromised and I was sent a new one. Being the freak that I am, I didn’t cut up the old one once I activated the new one because I was afraid I’d cut up the wrong one.

.........................................................

Wile Steve was in town last week I became very accustomed to taking the T from West Falls Church Metro Station into D.C. I don’t care if nobody in D.C. knows what I’m talking about when I say “take the T,” it is what comes naturally to me. People in Boston understand when you say metro or subway! Train, Transit, meTro, mbTa. It’s the T. Deal with it. But I digress.

So I went on a date last night with a guy I met on Match. He invited me to meet him for a drink in DuPont Circle. That, so far with my limited knowledge of D.C., is my absolute favorite place to party. So I pack a wallet sized clutch with my (new VA) drivers license, my (ahem) credit card, and my phone. And lip gloss. I dress in my best “I’m not trying too hard” date outfit and drive to West Falls, which is about a 10-15 minute drive. I get there, I park, and I leave my car and realize that I forgot my stupid stinking Metro card. That’s ok, I think, because I can just buy another one, even though I have TWO partially used ones from when Steve was in town and in my frazzled dumbness I temporarily lost the first one and then found it again. But oh wait! I think, when I drove Steve to the airport, he gave me his, and I stuck it in my dashboard! He told me that he had put $6 on it and didn’t know how much was left since the machine didn’t print clearly how much was left after he used it once. “Great,” I think,” I’ll use this to get down there. I can always buy a new one to get back if it’s not enough.”

So I’m on my date, and it’s going well enough so far. Hello Handsome! He was adorable and I was having a great time talking to him. When he excused himself for the bathroom, I offered to grab us another drink. Oh, and wasn’t my card declined. In disbelief that I had grabbed the wrong card, I had the bartender try it an additional two times. Well, that’s embarrassing. My date came back and I vaguely explained to him about my card, feeling like a dumbass making a lame first impression. I shrugged it off though. It was fun and going better than I’ve learned to expect from my online first dates.

We carried on and drank that one and another before he suggested we call it a night. The metro closes at midnight and I looked at my phone and saw that it was 11:40. Oops! Thankfully he was minding the time because I certainly was not. We walked out, hugged, said we’d do it again and went our separate ways. Now, DuPont is on the Red Line. I am on the Orange. Since I was cutting it so close, I walked down to Farragut North, which is one stop from the Orange line. He walked north to DuPont Circle stop, in the other direction. As I hustled down the street one large city block, I (thankfully) had the mind to pull out my metro card. It clearly printed this time that I had $.60. Efffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. I texted my dearly departed date and told him that I need help. He met me back toward where he was and gave me his card with about $7 on it. Feeling more and more like an asshole now, I am getting closer and closer to missing the last train out of D.C. So I hustled back down now a city block and a half, passing the same bums and drunkards I had now passed 3 times, whistling, asking where the party was, offering me a ride and general bothersomeness. So I make it down to the Farragut train station at 11:50 now, and the effing gates are closed. TEN MINUTES EARLY!!!!! Are you serious!! This can’t be happening. I am now texting my date, updating him, texting Lisa that I need help, and going over my options in my head. I can take a cab to my apartment in McLean which is a half hour at least from town and then get my card, take the cab to an ATM so that I may pay him, and take said cab to my car in West Falls. It will probably cost me about $100. Taking it to my car would only be about $20 but that’s not an option unfortunately. No money. My plan with Lisa is to have her ready for me with cash, embarrass myself in front of Matt, sleep on their couch and get myself to a T tomorrow to get to my car. My date, bless his heart, is offering to go home and get his car and come get me. He would have, too. He was such a gentleman. My embarrassment with him had been bad enough though and I would only have considered that if Lisa didn’t answer her phone.

Side note, I am petrified to be downtown by myself at night because a month or two ago I was in the same area wandering around looking for where I had parked my car, not finding it because I had no idea where I was and had no sense of direction, I was accosted by an aggressive guy propositioning me like I was a prostitute and it was one of times I have ever been the most scared for my safety.

Any who, I RAN, past all of the people who had now seen me leave the bar, passes them again to get a train ticket, walk back again to get the train at Farragut, and now RUN to DuPont Circle. The escalator was off (this one is about the size of the one in Porter Square, like 9 stories high) and I RAN down it. I thought I was going to fall forward but I kept going. I got to the platform and made the first train but now I had to go TWO stops to the orange line, and you know how it is at train stations figuring out what stairs to go up and down and over and under platforms trying to get on the right side of the right one. Wouldn’t you know that I caught the last red line and then the last orange one?

The guys getting on the train behind me were celebrating at the announcement that this was the last train and I looked up and recognized them as the men who had asked me where the Metro was while I was making the final leg of my journey through the square the 4^th and final time. I arrogantly had assumed that they were just asking me a stupid question so that I would talk to them like everyone else I had encountered in those 20 minutes and pointed behind me and said it was closed as I didn’t look up from my texting and headed up to DuPont. They really were looking for the train. Like me. A big group of us got into talking and someone asked me what I would have done if I didn’t make that train. Well, funny you should ask. I told them about my compromised credit card and how making the train had been my only option and thank the lord I was on it. One guy, separated from me by only a few rows of seats, got up and stood in front of me to talk about identity theft. He was a massive young man and I took him to be a nice guy who likes to talk to everyone. He asked if he could sit down next to me. Of course. He had a sore or zit on the corner of his mouth that I tried not to notice while he droned on for about 20 minutes about how unprotected everything you do and talk about online and in emails is. I was interested for probably the first 5 and then became worn out trying to fake interest. Then he said, “Give me your email. I’ll send you some stuff.” What?? I said. “Give me your email. I’ll send you some stuff.” “Oh that’s ok,” I said, “If that’s something I’m actually going to do I can figure it out on my own.” His Then he started explaining to me the program that he would have sent me in the email.

Meanwhile, this woman who was dressed like the elderly Betsey Johnson of Marshalls was talking to her now second victim about scholarships for multilingual students! There's no age limit either! I would have felt bad for these guys but the second one, whose conversation I was now observing since my bench-mate had woken up the guy sleeping to his left and was talking his ear off, seemed to be enjoying it and touching her unnecessarily. “You call me and I’ll take your daughter on a tour of the campus!!” She was saying. It was all very bizzar.

I made it back in one piece, all ending well. Sheesh. Happy New Year!

New in Town!!

So I just moved to D.C.... Like most of my major decisions I think about them carefully for about a day and make things happen in about a week. Surprise!! I'm moving to D.C. tomorrow!! Oh, I didn't tell you? Sorry, I've been too busy packing!

When the job opportunity was presented to me, I figured it was worth some thought. My sister and brother-in-law live down here and have been telling me for years how much I would love it here. The last time I had come to visit, one of my very best friends had recently moved to the area and had said the same thing. So, it wasn't like I was moving to a city void of friends and the comfort of family. I am still decently young enough, and lord knows I'm single enough that I don't have anything really tying me to anywhere. It was a promotion and something new, which I desperately needed.

I've been working every day since last Tuesday, and before that I had a lot going on at home in addition to working a lot. Today's break was greatly welcomed. I slept until 11:30. Yaaay! Now I just need to work on finding a place to live. My sister and bro-in-law have so generously taken me in temporarily but I'm eager to get my own place closer to work so I can stop spending an hour to an hour and a half commuting one way in D.C.'s horrendous traffic. So, wish me luck!! Can't wait to update you with my new digs!